Discussion:
Is there anybody there?
(too old to reply)
Simon Brooke
2005-12-16 00:12:27 UTC
Permalink
'Is there anybody there' typed the usenaught
Posting to the empty spool;
And his fans in the silence stirred the dustmotes
and kept the system cool.
No troll appeared from under the bridges,
Nor spammer nor poster of tripe:
And he rattled his keyboard a second time;
'Is there anybody there?' he typed.

But no-one responded to the usenaught;
No reader from over the hill
Looked up and noticed his new thread,
Where he sat perplexed and still.
But only a host of random indexers
That archived each message passed
Sat copying out the stream of the packets
Of that note that had come at last;
Sat copying the RFC ten three six headers,
And seeking the sig sep mark,
Transcribing the byte stream clear and open
Of that message sent into the dark.

And he felt in his heart their strangeness,
Their empty archiving of bytes,
While his fans whirred, beating the still air,
And stirring the sleeping mites;
For he suddenly struck on the keys, even
Harder, his keyboard bounced as he smote :-
'Tell them I came, and no one answered,
That I found no FAQ', he wrote.
Never a byte sent the crawlers,
Though every word he sent
Went rattling through the skipping of the disk heads
That knew not what he meant:
Ay, they read his bits upon the bytestream,
And the flicking from zero to one,
And now they endlessly index and store them,
But readers come there none.
--
***@jasmine.org.uk (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

;; this is not a .sig
oodid
2005-12-19 09:06:14 UTC
Permalink
Post by Simon Brooke
'Is there anybody there' typed the usenaught
Posting to the empty spool;
And his fans in the silence stirred the dustmotes
and kept the system cool.
No troll appeared from under the bridges,
And he rattled his keyboard a second time;
'Is there anybody there?' he typed.
But no-one responded to the usenaught;
No reader from over the hill
Looked up and noticed his new thread,
Where he sat perplexed and still.
But only a host of random indexers
That archived each message passed
Sat copying out the stream of the packets
Of that note that had come at last;
Sat copying the RFC ten three six headers,
And seeking the sig sep mark,
Transcribing the byte stream clear and open
Of that message sent into the dark.
And he felt in his heart their strangeness,
Their empty archiving of bytes,
While his fans whirred, beating the still air,
And stirring the sleeping mites;
For he suddenly struck on the keys, even
Harder, his keyboard bounced as he smote :-
'Tell them I came, and no one answered,
That I found no FAQ', he wrote.
Never a byte sent the crawlers,
Though every word he sent
Went rattling through the skipping of the disk heads
Ay, they read his bits upon the bytestream,
And the flicking from zero to one,
And now they endlessly index and store them,
But readers come there none.
I really enjoyed reading that Simon. The internet can be a spooky place
sometimes! :) Perfect choice with 'The Listeners' too.
Simon Brooke
2005-12-19 09:23:13 UTC
Permalink
Post by oodid
Post by Simon Brooke
'Is there anybody there' typed the usenaught
Posting to the empty spool;
I really enjoyed reading that Simon. The internet can be a spooky place
sometimes! :) Perfect choice with 'The Listeners' too.
[hiss]Glad to be of service[tshhh]

It's a skit, of course, But having written it, actually it does have
quite a nice feel, doesn't it?

I didn't intend anything serious by it, but in writing it had a vision of
the last human being ever to post to Usenet, some time in the future.
And the indexers and the cataloguers and the scrapers, still there in
their dusty racks in some ancient and half empty data centre, scanning,
and indexing, and cataloguing, and understanding nothing.

But seriously, is this group still alive, or is it pining for the fjords?
And if it is nailed to its perch, where do UK writers hang out on the
net these days?
--
***@jasmine.org.uk (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

;; When all else fails, read the distractions.
oodid
2005-12-19 15:14:28 UTC
Permalink
Post by Simon Brooke
Post by oodid
Post by Simon Brooke
'Is there anybody there' typed the usenaught
Posting to the empty spool;
I really enjoyed reading that Simon. The internet can be a spooky place
sometimes! :) Perfect choice with 'The Listeners' too.
[hiss]Glad to be of service[tshhh]
It's a skit, of course, But having written it, actually it does have
quite a nice feel, doesn't it?
I didn't intend anything serious by it, but in writing it had a vision of
the last human being ever to post to Usenet, some time in the future.
And the indexers and the cataloguers and the scrapers, still there in
their dusty racks in some ancient and half empty data centre, scanning,
and indexing, and cataloguing, and understanding nothing.
But seriously, is this group still alive, or is it pining for the fjords?
And if it is nailed to its perch, where do UK writers hang out on the
net these days?
:) Well, england.writing looks pretty quiet too. 'misc.writing' is
stuffed to overflowing _but_...
misc.writing moderated appears to have halted. Quiet is nice. I like quiet.
... Still like it Simon, skit or not. It's very evocative.
Simon Brooke
2005-12-19 16:42:10 UTC
Permalink
Post by oodid
Post by Simon Brooke
But seriously, is this group still alive, or is it pining for the
fjords? And if it is nailed to its perch, where do UK writers hang out
on the net these days?
:) Well, england.writing looks pretty quiet too. 'misc.writing' is
stuffed to overflowing _but_...
misc.writing moderated appears to have halted. Quiet is nice. I like quiet.
Oh, granted. Quiet is very nice. But at the same time, if one is writing,
one needs people to bounce one's ideas and drafts off... the online
writing group I used to be a member of has pretty much died, and when I
did a google search for online writers workshops in the UK I found
nothing at all, which seems bizarre.
--
***@jasmine.org.uk (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/
"The result is a language that... not even its mother could
love. Like the camel, Common Lisp is a horse designed by
committee. Camels do have their uses."
;; Scott Fahlman, 7 March 1995
Simon Brooke
2005-12-19 20:07:17 UTC
Permalink
Post by oodid
Post by Simon Brooke
Post by oodid
Post by Simon Brooke
'Is there anybody there' typed the usenaught
Posting to the empty spool;
I really enjoyed reading that Simon. The internet can be a spooky
place sometimes! :) Perfect choice with 'The Listeners' too.
It's a skit, of course, But having written it, actually it does have
quite a nice feel, doesn't it?
But seriously, is this group still alive, or is it pining for the
fjords? And if it is nailed to its perch, where do UK writers hang out
on the net these days?
:) Well, england.writing looks pretty quiet too.
Indeed. The grave's a fine and private place, but none, I think, do there
embrace...
Post by oodid
'misc.writing' is
stuffed to overflowing _but_...
H'mmmm... see what you mean. No, I don't think I'll go there. Noisy
place. And one gets the feeling that some of the chaps are, well,
decidedly non-U.
--
***@jasmine.org.uk (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

[ This .sig subject to change without notice ]
oodid
2005-12-19 21:03:11 UTC
Permalink
Post by Simon Brooke
Post by oodid
Post by Simon Brooke
Post by oodid
Post by Simon Brooke
'Is there anybody there' typed the usenaught
Posting to the empty spool;
I really enjoyed reading that Simon. The internet can be a spooky
place sometimes! :) Perfect choice with 'The Listeners' too.
It's a skit, of course, But having written it, actually it does have
quite a nice feel, doesn't it?
But seriously, is this group still alive, or is it pining for the
fjords? And if it is nailed to its perch, where do UK writers hang out
on the net these days?
:) Well, england.writing looks pretty quiet too.
Indeed. The grave's a fine and private place, but none, I think, do there
embrace...
Post by oodid
'misc.writing' is
stuffed to overflowing _but_...
H'mmmm... see what you mean. No, I don't think I'll go there. Noisy
place. And one gets the feeling that some of the chaps are, well,
decidedly non-U.
I think there's a lot of strutting there.
Compuserve had a great writer's group a long, long time ago - no idea if
it or Compuserve still exists. (furrows brow, note to self - check
Compuserve!)
I'm a terrible procrastinator. So it's good to find something light to
dip into - expending too much mental energy on a newsgroup is like
lighting a fire in the rain, if you do it, would it be worth the effort?
Jeremiah Harbottle
2006-04-30 11:31:01 UTC
Permalink
Post by Simon Brooke
But seriously, is this group still alive, or is it pining for the fjords?
And if it is nailed to its perch, where do UK writers hang out on the
net these days?
There's a few on AbsoluteWrite - absolutewrite.com

Continue reading on narkive:
Loading...