Author 'Belle de Jour'

[banana]

It's remarkable, if not at all surprising, that no-one in the media has
yet identified 'Belle de Jour' in print, despite its being rather easy
to work out this author's identity. I still won't say.

I know who 'Belle de Jour' is.
And I'm not saying.
Except that it's a man and it's not me.

Of course it's not you
You don't have a sexy bone in your
entire pathetic dessicated Marxist body. Why, if you knew how to wank,
you wouldn't even be a nym.

Note to AH: it's 'desiccate', not 'dessicate'. Do you write 'concensus'
too? Say one thing about AH, he knows how to have a J Arthur. Mind you,
so do most male chimpanzees. As for BdJ's literary work, you'd have to
be pretty far gone to think it was sing-along-with-your-right-arm
material. As for using a nym, do you mean to say 'Ian MacDonald' can't
get it up?

[MORECOMBE AND WISE]

Post by banana
It's remarkable, if not at all surprising, that no-one in the media has
yet identified 'Belle de Jour' in print, despite its being rather easy
to work out this author's identity. I still won't say.

Still behaving like a character from 'If...' I see.

Post by banana
--
banana "The thing I hate about you, Rowntree, is the way you
give Coca-Cola to your scum, and your best teddy-bear to
Oxfam, and expect us to lick your frigid fingers for the
rest of your frigid life." (Mick Travis, 'If...', 1968)

[Alan Hope]

Post by MORECOMBE AND WISE

Post by banana
It's remarkable, if not at all surprising, that no-one in the media has
yet identified 'Belle de Jour' in print, despite its being rather easy
to work out this author's identity. I still won't say.

Still behaving like a character from 'If...' I see.

This thread is anything up to a year old, Robs. If you're a good boy
you'll get banana's snappy comeback some time in 2006. Brace yourself.

[Alan Hope]

Post by banana
It's remarkable, if not at all surprising, that no-one in the media has
yet identified 'Belle de Jour' in print, despite its being rather easy
to work out this author's identity. I still won't say.

I know who 'Belle de Jour' is.
And I'm not saying.
Except that it's a man and it's not me.

Of course it's not you
You don't have a sexy bone in your
entire pathetic dessicated Marxist body. Why, if you knew how to wank,
you wouldn't even be a nym.

Note to AH: it's 'desiccate', not 'dessicate'.

Fucksake, monkey-food. It's taken you what, six months? Nine months to
come up with a spelling lame? Lamer's Hall of Fame for that effort.

Post by banana
Do you write 'concensus'
too?

Har-har. Stupid cunt.

Post by banana
Say one thing about AH, he knows how to have a J Arthur. Mind you,
so do most male chimpanzees.

Great. A chimp joke from the cunt who calls himself banana. How
auto-flametastic is that?

Post by banana
As for BdJ's literary work, you'd have to
be pretty far gone to think it was sing-along-with-your-right-arm
material.

Who said it was? I was talking about you, not Belle.

Post by banana
As for using a nym, do you mean to say 'Ian MacDonald' can't
get it up?

Ian MacDonald is a fictional character, so the answer is indeed No.
But I have no trouble jerking off, and oh look, I've just shot a load
in your face.

[MORECOMBE AND WISE]

Post by Alan Hope

Post by banana
It's remarkable, if not at all surprising, that no-one in the media has
yet identified 'Belle de Jour' in print, despite its being rather easy
to work out this author's identity. I still won't say.

I know who 'Belle de Jour' is.
And I'm not saying.
Except that it's a man and it's not me.

Of course it's not you
You don't have a sexy bone in your
entire pathetic dessicated Marxist body. Why, if you knew how to wank,
you wouldn't even be a nym.

Note to AH: it's 'desiccate', not 'dessicate'.

Fucksake, monkey-food. It's taken you what, six months? Nine months to
come up with a spelling lame? Lamer's Hall of Fame for that effort.

Post by banana
Do you write 'concensus'
too?

Har-har. Stupid cunt.

Post by banana
Say one thing about AH, he knows how to have a J Arthur. Mind you,
so do most male chimpanzees.

Great. A chimp joke from the cunt who calls himself banana. How
auto-flametastic is that?

Post by banana
As for BdJ's literary work, you'd have to
be pretty far gone to think it was sing-along-with-your-right-arm
material.

Who said it was? I was talking about you, not Belle.

Post by banana
As for using a nym, do you mean to say 'Ian MacDonald' can't
get it up?

Ian MacDonald is a fictional character, so the answer is indeed No.
But I have no trouble jerking off, and oh look, I've just shot a load
in your face.
--
AH

So who wrote Belle De Jour and was it Jimmy Tarbuck?

[Alan Hope]

Post by MORECOMBE AND WISE
So who wrote Belle De Jour and was it Jimmy Tarbuck?

Who gives a fuck?

[banana]

Post by Alan Hope

Post by banana
It's remarkable, if not at all surprising, that no-one in the media
has yet identified 'Belle de Jour' in print, despite its being rather
easy to work out this author's identity. I still won't say.
Note to AH: it's 'desiccate', not 'dessicate'.

Fucksake, monkey-food.

Great wordsmithing, must look good in the enlarging mirror under the
sheets.

Post by Alan Hope
It's taken you what, six months? Nine months to
come up with a spelling lame? Lamer's Hall of Fame for that effort.

Did you miss the bit saying "in looking up my previous post, I found
this reply"?

The reason I posted was because Bellie's got a book coming out, not
because I'd finally thought of a retort to Allie's name-calling. Look at
the structure... Nut graf right at the top. Loads of carriage returns
before the 'while I'm here, I might as well say' bit.

Post by Alan Hope

Post by banana
Do you write 'concensus'too?

Har-har. Stupid cunt.

You're the fucking 'I'm so good with words, all onlookers should faint'
one. Typing 'dessicate' pisses on that, doesn't it?

Post by Alan Hope

Post by banana
Say one thing about AH, he knows how to have a J Arthur. Mind you,
so do most male chimpanzees.

Great. A chimp joke from the cunt who calls himself banana. How
auto-flametastic is that?

Me-ow. Hit home, then. 'Flametastic' - sorry, is that 'Sun'-ese? You can
do better than get down with the wallies who respond to what I say by
observing (doubtless laughing in mentally-deficient bully-boy fashion,
not really thinking they've said anything witty at all) that 'banana's'
a silly name.

Post by Alan Hope

Post by banana
As for BdJ's literary work, you'd have to
be pretty far gone to think it was sing-along-with-your-right-arm
material.

Who said it was? I was talking about you, not Belle.

Do I need to spell it out? You said I didn't write it because I'm not
sexy. My point was, it's not sexy or erotic literature! Of course you
may have been assuming that it's written by someone who works in the sex
trade. It isn't. It's just written by someone who has great skill at
doing research and writing. Which may be a soft spot for some.

Post by Alan Hope

Post by banana
As for using a nym, do you mean to say 'Ian MacDonald' can't
get it up?

Ian MacDonald is a fictional character, so the answer is indeed No.
But I have no trouble jerking off, and oh look, I've just shot a load
in your face.

Gone to the bottle? Pension probs looming? You sound pissed off with
stuff, Allie.

[Alan Hope]

Post by banana
You're the fucking 'I'm so good with words, all onlookers should faint'
one. Typing 'dessicate' pisses on that, doesn't it?

No.

[banana]

Post by Alan Hope
But I have no trouble jerking off, and oh look, I've just shot a load
in your face.

Are you wearing your old cop's uniform, an Old Firm scarf, or both?

[banana]

Post by banana

Post by Alan Hope
But I have no trouble jerking off, and oh look, I've just shot a load
in your face.

Are you wearing your old cop's uniform, an Old Firm scarf, or both?

Or a SHAPE pass?

;-)

[Stephen Glynn]

Post by banana
It's remarkable, if not at all surprising, that no-one in the media has
yet identified 'Belle de Jour' in print, despite its being rather easy
to work out this author's identity. I still won't say.

I know who 'Belle de Jour' is.
And I'm not saying.
Except that it's a man and it's not me.

<snip>

Hmm. It's a man and it isn't 'banana'. Well, since he claims to be a
Jewish prostitute, is it 'Wotan' having a go at the Jews again?

Steve

[banana]

ROFLMAO!!

I especially like the first bit here, attributed to the 'learned
professor' who, the 'Times' reported last year, had 'unmasked' 'Belle de
Jour'.

I know this is old but I've just seen it.

(Note that he has denied doing the 'unmasking', and says that the
'Times' fed him the name, see:
<http://www.timemachinego.com/linkmachinego/who-is-belle-de-jour.html>)

Yes folks, this is the sister newspaper of the 'Sunday Times' which
bought the fake 'Hitler diaries'.

Apparently both 'Belle de Jour' and the person whom he (wrongly)

Have a tendency to switch between single quotes for single words and
double quotes for conversation;

A very good practice too!

Frequently use brackets where not strictly necessary;

Got 'em bang to rights eh, professor?

Use space, hyphen, space, where other writers might use a longer dash
without spaces;

Someone is certainly twisting someone around their little finger here! I
wonder if this guy knows anything of a) the intelligence of the person
whose work he is supposed to be analysing, b) HTML, or c) the process of
editing and publishing a book.

Use an organisation’s name as a collective noun taking a plural verb,
as in “Time Out have done impressive job”;

Oh give us some more of this learned nonsense!

Use italics in an unconventional and similar manner.

Actually this one could be a help to a 'detective' with more of a brain.

The idiotic article in the 'Times' is at:

<http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1042250_3,00.html>