Joke

[Simon]

A bloke picks up a Chink girl at a disco and takes her home. After
quite a few drinks she says to him "Me so horny, me do anything for
you". So he says to her "Oh, baby! How about a 69?"

With a scowl on her face she says "you fluck off, me no cook this time
of night!"

[Section 31T]

Post by Simon
A bloke picks up a Chink girl at a disco and takes her home. After
quite a few drinks she says to him "Me so horny, me do anything for
you". So he says to her "Oh, baby! How about a 69?"
With a scowl on her face she says "you fluck off, me no cook this time
of night!"

LOL
Very Good!!

[Jimbo GM4DHJ]

Post by Simon
A bloke picks up a Chink girl at a disco and takes her home. After
quite a few drinks she says to him "Me so horny, me do anything for
you". So he says to her "Oh, baby! How about a 69?"
With a scowl on her face she says "you fluck off, me no cook this time
of night!"

That once happened to me! ........

[Theo]

Did you know there are five French letters in the English
alphabet?
They are D, U, R, E and X!

[Old Codger]

Post by Simon
A bloke picks up a Chink girl at a disco and takes her home. After
quite a few drinks she says to him "Me so horny, me do anything for
you". So he says to her "Oh, baby! How about a 69?"
With a scowl on her face she says "you fluck off, me no cook this time
of night!"

LOL

[Steve Terry]

"Simon" <***@privacy.net> wrote in message news:***@4ax.com...
Chinaman calls his boss, me no well, me got flu.
Boss says to him, you should do what I do have sex with my wife,
I feel great afterwards.
Chinaman calls him back several hours later,
You right boss, me feel great now and you have nice wallpaper too

Steve Terry

[Old Codger]

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a
knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little
Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You sign! You sign!"
Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is
standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to
yell louder. "You sign! You sign!" Nelson says to him, "Look mate,
you've obviously got the wrong bloke. Push off", and shuts the door in
his face. The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he
opens it the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake
pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You
sign! You sign!" Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he
shoves the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, push off ! You've
got the wrong bloke! I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his
face again. The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the
afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door,
there is the same little Chinaman thrusting a clipboard under his
nose, shouting "You sign! You sign!" Behind him are TWO very large
trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson loses his temper
completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at
him; "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the
wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?" The little Chinese man
looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says: "You not
Nissan Maindealer?"

[Old Codger]

Old Codger wrote:

No I didn't. Pete the troll is playing with headers again.

I go away for a few days and come back to find he is forging headers
with gay abandon, posting copyright stuff, libels and plain rubbish all
over the place, using my nym. Wait a while to see what happens and he
just continues. I have made few posts in any group since 27 March.

Post by Old Codger
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a
knock at the door.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke
argument it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is
at least unsafe and probably malicious.

[Earthlink need killing off]

Post by Old Codger
No I didn't. Pete the troll is playing with headers again.
I go away for a few days and come back to find he is forging headers
with gay abandon, posting copyright stuff, libels and plain rubbish all
over the place, using my nym. Wait a while to see what happens and he
just continues. I have made few posts in any group since 27 March.

Post by Old Codger
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a
knock at the door.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke
argument it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is
at least unsafe and probably malicious.

The real answer if for everyone to KF anything with "earthlink.net" in the headers.

That way we'll get rid of the spamming idiots who seem to pollute every group with
their idiotic rubbish

[Old Codger]

On Sun, 13 Apr 2008 21:27:13 +0100, Earthlink need killing off

Post by Earthlink need killing off

Post by Old Codger
No I didn't. Pete the troll is playing with headers again.
I go away for a few days and come back to find he is forging headers
with gay abandon, posting copyright stuff, libels and plain rubbish all
over the place, using my nym. Wait a while to see what happens and he
just continues. I have made few posts in any group since 27 March.

Post by Old Codger
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a
knock at the door.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke
argument it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is
at least unsafe and probably malicious.

The real answer if for everyone to KF anything with "earthlink.net" in the headers.
That way we'll get rid of the spamming idiots who seem to pollute every group with
their idiotic rubbish

You'll never get rid of the netkook that's inside your head unless you
allow us to perform a lobotomy on you with crab claws!

[Old Codger]

Old Codger wrote:

None of this. A genuine Pete the troll forgery, also adding demon.local
to the cross posts.

Post by Old Codger
You'll never get rid of the netkook that's inside your head unless you
allow us to perform a lobotomy on you with crab claws!

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

[unknown]

Post by Old Codger
None of this. A genuine Pete the troll forgery, also adding demon.local
to the cross posts.

Post by Old Codger
You'll never get rid of the netkook that's inside your head unless you
allow us to perform a lobotomy on you with crab claws!

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

Indeed.

Time to get the earthlink domain blackholed.

[Theo]

I would sooner have a full bottle in front of me
than have a full frontal lobotomy!

[MattLB]

Post by Theo
I would sooner have a full bottle in front of me
than have a full frontal lobotomy!

Hmm. Faster Pussycat wasn't it?

[Old Codger]

Post by unknown

Post by Old Codger
None of this. A genuine Pete the troll forgery, also adding demon.local
to the cross posts.

Post by Old Codger
You'll never get rid of the netkook that's inside your head unless you
allow us to perform a lobotomy on you with crab claws!

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

Indeed.
Time to get the earthlink domain blackholed.

Go for it. Let us know when they start listening to village idiots.

[Old Codger]

Old Codger wrote:

No. Pete the troll is playing wannabe master forger again.

Post by Old Codger
Go for it. Let us know when they start listening to village idiots.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

[unknown]

Post by Old Codger
No. Pete the troll is playing wannabe master forger again.

Post by Old Codger
Go for it. Let us know when they start listening to village idiots.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

Trouble is he's utterly useless at the forgery, as one quick glance at the headers
will show!

Looks like he doesn't like having his cage rattled though.

You can imagine him, can't you, living in a grubby little bedsit or flat share
somewhere, sweating over an old computer, living either on benefits or shelf stacker
wages, spending his life propagating the Earthlink pollution and wishing he could get
a girlfriend of some sort.

Got to feel sorry for him really.

[Old Codger]

Post by unknown

Post by Old Codger
No. Pete the troll is playing wannabe master forger again.

Post by Old Codger
Go for it. Let us know when they start listening to village idiots.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

Trouble is he's utterly useless at the forgery, as one quick glance at the headers
will show!

Please don't encourage the troll or he might end up as dumb as you.

Post by unknown
Looks like he doesn't like having his cage rattled though.

Who does!

Post by unknown
You can imagine him, can't you, living in a grubby little bedsit or flat share
somewhere, sweating over an old computer, living either on benefits or shelf stacker
wages, spending his life propagating the Earthlink pollution and wishing he could get
a girlfriend of some sort.

Me and my friend Scooby Doo are all we need.

Post by unknown
Got to feel sorry for him really.

Thanks. Would that stretch to putting some coins in my cap?

[Old Codger]

Post by unknown

Post by Old Codger
No. Pete the troll is playing wannabe master forger again.

Post by Old Codger
Go for it. Let us know when they start listening to village idiots.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

Trouble is he's utterly useless at the forgery, as one quick glance at the headers
will show!

And you are utterly useless at the lying, as one quick glance at the
headers like you claim to have done would show you he's not posting
through Earthlink but Altnet (www.altopia.com).

Be gentle on the kook he knows not what he does.

The fact that you're trying so hard to lay the blame at Earthlink
demonstrates you're worried this little fact about where the posts are
coming from will become apparent to other people.
And hey, even _Atopia_ has a policy against using a real email address
to pretend a post is from a different source.

That's called forgery and strictly forbidden by every one. The
clueless kooks don't even know what forgery is. Please don't educate
them as it spoils the fun at their expense.

Do Zen Internet have a policy about facilitating and supporting trolls
like him via crossposted replies, which is what you are doing here?
Or even the 'real' Old Codger who is simply crossposting the exact
same message over and over,

It's not a real person and his responses are basic forms of AI, we're
working on increasing it's vocab.

like spamming fuckheads do, solely to
inflate his own self-importance among a tiny readership of people who
don't know who he is and couldn't give a flying fuck anyway.

LOL not quite as diplomatic as I but that about sums it up nicely.

fu->uk.business.agriculture

Couldn't resist just one more poke so it means I've been naughty and
reset the lot.

[Old Codger]

Post by unknown

Post by Old Codger
No. Pete the troll is playing wannabe master forger again.

Post by Old Codger
Go for it. Let us know when they start listening to village idiots.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

Trouble is he's utterly useless at the forgery, as one quick glance at the headers
will show!
Looks like he doesn't like having his cage rattled though.

Very true

Post by unknown
You can imagine him, can't you, living in a grubby little bedsit or flat share
somewhere, sweating over an old computer, living either on benefits or shelf stacker
wages, spending his life propagating the Earthlink pollution and wishing he could get
a girlfriend of some sort.

Since he apparently posts at all times of the day I suspect it is
benefits or pension.

Post by unknown
Got to feel sorry for him really.

Nah, just a sour old git.

[Old Codger]

On Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:10:59 +0100,The Dirty Old Codger Brian

Post by Old Codger

Post by unknown

Post by Old Codger
No. Pete the troll is playing wannabe master forger again.

Post by Old Codger
Go for it. Let us know when they start listening to village idiots.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

Trouble is he's utterly useless at the forgery, as one quick glance at the headers
will show!
Looks like he doesn't like having his cage rattled though.

Very true

Post by unknown
You can imagine him, can't you, living in a grubby little bedsit or flat share
somewhere, sweating over an old computer, living either on benefits or shelf stacker
wages, spending his life propagating the Earthlink pollution and wishing he could get
a girlfriend of some sort.

Since he apparently posts at all times of the day I suspect it is
benefits or pension.

Post by unknown
Got to feel sorry for him really.

Nah, just a sour old git.

Todger teams up with the village idiot. Careful Todg that's almost a
gangbang!

[Simon]

On Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:54:46 +0000, Froot Bat

Or why don't I email Zen and tell them you overrode a Followup-To

Oh, I didn't have you down as a netcop :(

[Old Codger]

Post by Simon
On Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:54:46 +0000, Froot Bat

Or why don't I email Zen and tell them you overrode a Followup-To

Oh, I didn't have you down as a netcop :(

You cant NetKop a NetKop they're fair play. Old Todger is a dirty old
man and it's time the world knew.

He once said he was going to tell my mother about me, the cad.

[Old Codger]

Dirty Old Codger
An 80 year old codger went to London to pick up a rent boy and get
some action
He noticed one young lad in particular and started flirting with him.
The rent boy started becoming annoyed and said, "Get lost old codger!
You're ruining business!"

"Sure would like to get some action tonight," said old codger.

"You've got to be kidding! You're too old! You're all finished."

"What did you say?" asked old codger.

"You heard me - you're all finished."

"Oh," replied old codger, "how much do I owe you?"

[Old Codger]

On Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:54:46 +0000, Froot Bat

On Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:21:54 +0100, Old Codger

Post by unknown

Post by Old Codger
No. Pete the troll is playing wannabe master forger again.

Post by Old Codger
Go for it. Let us know when they start listening to village idiots.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

Trouble is he's utterly useless at the forgery, as one quick glance at the headers
will show!

And you are utterly useless at the lying, as one quick glance at the
headers like you claim to have done would show you he's not posting
through Earthlink but Altnet (www.altopia.com).
The fact that you're trying so hard to lay the blame at Earthlink
demonstrates you're worried this little fact about where the posts are
coming from will become apparent to other people.
And hey, even _Atopia_ has a policy against using a real email address
to pretend a post is from a different source.
Do Zen Internet have a policy about facilitating and supporting trolls
like him via crossposted replies, which is what you are doing here?
Or even the 'real' Old Codger who is simply crossposting the exact
same message over and over, like spamming fuckheads do, solely to
inflate his own self-importance among a tiny readership of people who
don't know who he is and couldn't give a flying fuck anyway.

If you don't give a flying fuck just killfile me.

Why should I, when you could just stop crossposting like a fuckhead?
Why don't you just killfile the other 'Old Codger'?
Or why don't I email Zen and tell them you overrode a Followup-To yet
deliberately _added_ and only posted to four newsgroups that you're
not even a member of?
That that action alone demonstrates to me you're an attention-seeking,
net-abusing, trolling wanker.

And that's being nice about it!

My posts are intended to counter the false impression Pete is trying to
create. As such they have to reach all the groups to which Pete has
posted his forgeries.

He's not posting forgeries, in fact he's not even using the same
address you're using, even though there is nothing to stop him, or
non-existant address and a non-existant domain.
In fact there's nothing to stop him registering anyoldwhere.net and
suing you for using his name without permission and bringing it into
disrepute by posting like a fuckhead.
uk.business.agriculture - the newsgroup you're a member of but don't
crosspost your whiney trolling to - re-added.

The despicable ponce. All this jumping up and down because he got
caught outside a junior school taking pictures in Bicknacre,
Chelmsford where he lives. The dirty old man, seems to be a trait
amongst the ponces on UBA.

[Adam Hart]

On Tue, 15 Apr 2008 21:41:13 +0100, Old Codger

Post by Simon
On Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:54:46 +0000, Froot Bat

On Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:21:54 +0100, Old Codger

Post by unknown

Post by Old Codger
No. Pete the troll is playing wannabe master forger again.

Post by Old Codger
Go for it. Let us know when they start listening to village idiots.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

Trouble is he's utterly useless at the forgery, as one quick glance at the headers
will show!

And you are utterly useless at the lying, as one quick glance at the
headers like you claim to have done would show you he's not posting
through Earthlink but Altnet (www.altopia.com).
The fact that you're trying so hard to lay the blame at Earthlink
demonstrates you're worried this little fact about where the posts are
coming from will become apparent to other people.
And hey, even _Atopia_ has a policy against using a real email address
to pretend a post is from a different source.
Do Zen Internet have a policy about facilitating and supporting trolls
like him via crossposted replies, which is what you are doing here?
Or even the 'real' Old Codger who is simply crossposting the exact
same message over and over, like spamming fuckheads do, solely to
inflate his own self-importance among a tiny readership of people who
don't know who he is and couldn't give a flying fuck anyway.

If you don't give a flying fuck just killfile me.

Why should I, when you could just stop crossposting like a fuckhead?
Why don't you just killfile the other 'Old Codger'?
Or why don't I email Zen and tell them you overrode a Followup-To yet
deliberately _added_ and only posted to four newsgroups that you're
not even a member of?
That that action alone demonstrates to me you're an attention-seeking,
net-abusing, trolling wanker.

And that's being nice about it!

My posts are intended to counter the false impression Pete is trying to
create. As such they have to reach all the groups to which Pete has
posted his forgeries.

How the bully protesteth. It's OK for the senile old fart to gang up
on vulnerable victims and try to bully them away from newsgroups. Yet
when he gets a kick up the arse he cries foul!

I'd say what's good for the goose..........! Go codger teach the old
fart a real lesson.

Post by Simon

He's not posting forgeries, in fact he's not even using the same
address you're using, even though there is nothing to stop him, or
non-existant address and a non-existant domain.
In fact there's nothing to stop him registering anyoldwhere.net and
suing you for using his name without permission and bringing it into
disrepute by posting like a fuckhead.
uk.business.agriculture - the newsgroup you're a member of but don't
crosspost your whiney trolling to - re-added.

The despicable ponce. All this jumping up and down because he got
caught outside a junior school taking pictures in Bicknacre,
Chelmsford where he lives. The dirty old man, seems to be a trait
amongst the ponces on UBA.

It figures. Most of his weird friends on UBA are like minded bullies
and in to weird cult fantasy worlds so none will be missed if they got
locked up.

[Old Codger]

On Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:21:54 +0100, Old Codger

Post by unknown

Post by Old Codger
No. Pete the troll is playing wannabe master forger again.

Post by Old Codger
Go for it. Let us know when they start listening to village idiots.

As Pete never reads what he posts and desires only to provoke argument
it is safest to assume that anything he espouses is at least unsafe and
probably malicious.

Trouble is he's utterly useless at the forgery, as one quick glance at the headers
will show!

And you are utterly useless at the lying, as one quick glance at the
headers like you claim to have done would show you he's not posting
through Earthlink but Altnet (www.altopia.com).
The fact that you're trying so hard to lay the blame at Earthlink
demonstrates you're worried this little fact about where the posts are
coming from will become apparent to other people.
And hey, even _Atopia_ has a policy against using a real email address
to pretend a post is from a different source.
Do Zen Internet have a policy about facilitating and supporting trolls
like him via crossposted replies, which is what you are doing here?
Or even the 'real' Old Codger who is simply crossposting the exact
same message over and over, like spamming fuckheads do, solely to
inflate his own self-importance among a tiny readership of people who
don't know who he is and couldn't give a flying fuck anyway.

If you don't give a flying fuck just killfile me.
My posts are intended to counter the false impression Pete is trying to
create. As such they have to reach all the groups to which Pete has
posted his forgeries.
I am surprised that this needs pointing out to someone of your obvious
knowledge and intelligence.

You're a dirty old man Todger the games up. Now run and hide like you
usually do you state benefit ponce.

[Old Codger]

On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:38:49 +0100, Old Codger

On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 06:51:46 +0100, "buddenbrooks"

On Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:21:54 +0100, Old Codger
In fact there's nothing to stop him registering anyoldwhere.net and
suing you for using his name without permission and bringing it into
disrepute by posting like a fuckhead.

So one person forging anothers identity is OK but responding indicating
the forgery is going to bring down the wrath of the legal system,
pratt !

Now now Hamish don't let everyone see what a cock you really are, you
have been hiding it so well lately with your various sock puppets.

It's a bit rich these dick head bullies using false names and emails
complaining about people using false names and emails!
Oh the irony LOL.

I think it's lost on the twerps.

I say to the Codger kickng ass Go-Codge-Go.

They used to like being the centre of attention, now all gone quiet. I
feel a football song coming on.

[Old Codger]

On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:32:37 +0100, "Pat Gardiner"

Post by Old Codger

On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:38:49 +0100, Old Codger

On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 06:51:46 +0100, "buddenbrooks"

On Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:21:54 +0100, Old Codger
In fact there's nothing to stop him registering anyoldwhere.net and
suing you for using his name without permission and bringing it into
disrepute by posting like a fuckhead.

So one person forging anothers identity is OK but responding indicating
the forgery is going to bring down the wrath of the legal system,
pratt !

Now now Hamish don't let everyone see what a cock you really are, you
have been hiding it so well lately with your various sock puppets.

It's a bit rich these dick head bullies using false names and emails
complaining about people using false names and emails!
Oh the irony LOL.

I think it's lost on the twerps.

I say to the Codger kickng ass Go-Codge-Go.

They used to like being the centre of attention, now all gone quiet. I
feel a football song coming on.

Actually, I rather wish "Old Codger" would actually get round to removing
much of the libelous mindless abuse that he was posting a year or so back
under their encouragement. He was being used as a "patsy" of course and was
too dumb to see he was being used.

He's still too dumb to notice no one is talking to him LOL

You can see the worst - he actually put my name in the headers.
This is seriously interfering with my efforts to get Defra to test the pigs
for MRSA.
When it later comes out that I was right about the pigs being sick since
1999 and excessive antibiotics being used to get them into the food chain,
he is going to look really bad. I can see why he is sensitive about his real
identity.

One can see why he's ashamed to stand by his posts using his real
name.

The failure of the NHS to test pig and pork workers at the hospital door may
well have cost human lives.
Deliberately spreading libel about a whistle-blower to undermine his
credibility is not exactly a nice thing to do, when children and old people
die from MRSA.

Well we seem to have run the bullies out of town as far as UBA is
concerned.

I have cut this back to uk.business.agriculture, otherwise those keen to
continue the cover-up will... well you know the rest.

I've stuck them back in as I like to poke a troll.

[James]

Post by Simon
A bloke picks up a Chink girl at a disco and takes her home. After
quite a few drinks she says to him "Me so horny, me do anything for
you". So he says to her "Oh, baby! How about a 69?"
With a scowl on her face she says "you fluck off, me no cook this time
of night!"

lol

[Froot Bat]

Post by Simon
A bloke picks up a Chink girl at a disco and takes her home. After
quite a few drinks she says to him "Me so horny, me do anything for
you". So he says to her "Oh, baby! How about a 69?"
With a scowl on her face she says "you fluck off, me no cook this time
of night!"

Yep, some Asians really can't pronounce those silent Rs.

[Simon]

Post by Froot Bat

Post by Simon
A bloke picks up a Chink girl at a disco and takes her home. After
quite a few drinks she says to him "Me so horny, me do anything for
you". So he says to her "Oh, baby! How about a 69?"
With a scowl on her face she says "you fluck off, me no cook this time
of night!"

Yep, some Asians really can't pronounce those silent Rs.

I know, stupid fluckers!

[Theo]

What's the difference between a bus load of Indians mangled
in a road accident, and a load of crabs and lobsters?

Nothing - they're both a lot of crustaceans.